


Cycling Through

by DecemberIceStar



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-21
Updated: 2012-11-21
Packaged: 2017-11-19 05:19:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/569544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DecemberIceStar/pseuds/DecemberIceStar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Hawthorn's daughter looked like a Town kid with big blue eyes framed with curls of long hair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cycling Through

**Cycling through**

The Hawthorn's daughter has big blue eyes framed with locks of long curly hair.

Payla Hawthorn is beautiful. Her dark hair is always tied back in a bun with bangs hanging over her bright eyes. Her skin is the Town's pale porcelain skin that burns easily under the sun. Pearly teeth are scarcely shown, but when they do, her whole face light up. When she walks down the street, clutching her Uncle Mitch's hand, singing even the birds stop to hear her sweet voice. She is beautiful but she doesn't shine.

Payla Hawthorn is rarely happy. Her father gets drunk almost every day and she knows better than to try to take the bottle from him. The only time she tried, he broke down sobbing and hugged her, mumbling something about broken wings. It scared her, so she ran back to her room, her small, chubby hands pushing the door closed. Since then, she just enters through the back door and goes straight to her room to get her sketching pad and leaves to her Uncle's house. He's usually drunk as well, but he's a happy drunk so it doesn't bother her as much. She's rarely happy but she doesn't have a lot of reasons to be.

Payla Hawthorn asks. She asks why her mommy only leaves the house to cry in front of a rock that sits next to the lake. She asks why her parents don't kiss like her friends' do. She asks why her father won't lift her up like he used to. She asks why her mommy cries whenever she sees a loaf of bread. She asks a lot of things, but it doesn't mean she gets the answers.

Payla Hawthorn likes cookies. After school, she always goes to the Mellark Bakery where old Mr. Mellark gives her a few cookies. Orange cookies, because she thinks chocolate is overrated. He smiled sadly when she told him that. Her father told her she shouldn't take advantage of people's generosity. She took money to Mr. Mellark the next day but he rejected it and told her he gave them to her because he always made more than necessary and he couldn't waste perfectly good cookies, could he? He also said it was her payment for helping him decorate the cakes. She was very good at it but always missed the tear that slipped down his wrinkled cheek. She reminds him of a better time, one with a happy boy that frosted cakes and loved a Seam girl. She likes cookies but she likes even better Mr. Mellark's smile.

Payla Hawthorn dreams. She dreams her mom is happy and her dad doesn't drink. She dreams she didn't find a picture of her mother with another man, along with a letter that was addressed to Peeta M. She dreams she wasn't stupid enough to read the letter and discover her drunken father isn't really her father. She dreams the name carved in the rock by the lake isn't Peeta Mellark. She dreams she met her father. She dreams a lot but reality never fails to set her down to earth.

Payla Hawthorn loves. When a Finn Odair visits them one summer, she falls hard. His eyes twinkle with a happiness rarely seen on her house. He makes her laugh and tells her stories of his home and teaches her a language spoken only in District 4. He calls her _mi princesa del mar_ and she's happy. Truly happy. Until he leaves and weeks later send a letter telling her about a girl he met. She loves, but isn't loved back.

Payla Hawthorn cries. She cries because her heart is broken and she's only sixteen and god she's too young for this crap. She cries because her mother only stares back at her with empty eyes when she tells her she loves her. She cries because her father is slipping further away from her and she can't even find it in herself to try and catch him. She cries because the whole District whispers about her and they don't even care she can hear them. She cries a lot but no one notices.

Payla Hawthorn hates. Her mother leaves early one morning and she goes to look for her at her _(real)_ father's tomb. She isn't there. She looks and looks and finally finds her sitting on top of a tree with a rope on her hands. She's singing, and oh how she missed her voice. She hasn't seen her yet so she calmly puts the rope around her neck and jumps down. She runs as fast as she can but by the time she gets there her mother's beautiful face is twisted grotesquely and her tongue slips from her blue lips. But her eyes… her eyes are so peaceful. She hates her for leaving her alone but she can't deny that her mother left long before her feet dangled in the air, without touching the earth.

Payla Hawthorn yells. She yells at her father but it seems he doesn't even notice in his alcohol induced stupor. She yells at Uncle Mitch but he ends up hugging her and she ends up crying. She yells at Finn but he just stares at her with his beautiful eyes and tells her he'll be staying with Haymitch. She yells at Mr. Mellark but he just looks at her softly and pushes a cake towards her. She yells but it doesn't mean she means what she yells.

Payla Hawthorn heals. Her mom is buried next to Peeta, because she died with him anyway. She plants a bush of primroses over their graves because they were her mother's favorite. She apologizes to Finn and he smiles easily and tells her he missed her. Uncle Mitch gets incredibly drunk for five full days after the funeral but then he's back to his feet and tells her stories about the boy with the bread and the girl on fire. Her dad stops drinking and tries to get close to her but he's nineteen years too late. She heals but she never forgets.

Payla Hawthorn lives. She marries Finn when she's twenty-four and her Uncle laughs and tells them it took them long enough. She has a girl and a boy and she names her Katniss Anne Odair and him Finnick Haymitch Odair. Her father dies in a fire but she knows it wasn't an accident. Her father was many things but not stupid enough to leave the ovens on at night. She cries and mourns for the man that wasn't really there but tried to be. Uncle Haymitch dies when she's thirty-six and he goes with a smile on his lips and a name. Mayslee. She doesn't know who that is but she finds a picture of a girl with long blond hair and bright green eyes and she buries it with him.

Payla Hawthorn lived, loved, hated, healed and cried, but oh what a journey it was.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not completely happy with this one but I couldn't get it out of my head so… In this AU Peeta dies in the Quarter Quell and Katniss is really pregnant, she didn't know that the bombs that killed Prim were Gale's so she marries him to give her daughter a father.


End file.
